Mar 13

Five Fatal Phone Fails

Five Fatal Phone Fails

You got her number. All you have to do now is NOT blow the phone call.

fatal phone failsGuys, it’s a fact of life that first impressions are critical. This is true for both men and women. Want to instantly boost yours?

In dating in general — and particularly with online dating — there are a number of potential choke points at which the turnoff factor may prove fatal and lose you your opportunity to ever meet the hottie who’s captured your interest.

If you’ve gotten far enough that she’s provided her phone number, you are so close to that first date! You do not have to ace the phone call. You do, however, have to avoid failing it and losing all hope of ever going out with her. Many women will still meet a guy they had a so-so phone chat with. But few will meet you after experiencing a turnoff during your conversation. Here are five real-life fails that others have committed so that you can learn and avoid the same mistakes. Sure, they won’t prove fatal with all women all the time. Everyone has different sensibilities and sensitivities. But this first call is no time for big risks.

  1. Incorrectly recall “which one” she is. “Hi Jena, it’s Matt from Tinder.” Jena’s not on Tinder. You met on OKCupid. “So Maggie, how do you like being a CPA?” Maggie is the designer. Margot is the CPA. While this is not quite as big a fail as the others and may not lose you the date altogether, it does give her the impression that you’re either not that bright, or too busy to be interested. If you need to use an Excel spreadsheet to keep these things straight, DO IT.
  2. Ask if you can come over now, because your landlord has turned off your heat. Yes, this really happened. A grown man invited himself (and his dog) to the home of a woman he met online, during their first conversation. Going to her house is never an appropriate first date. Beyond that, she will wonder why you don’t have any friends who you can call on for refuge. And also whether you have any resourcefulness to problem-solve such a winter conundrum without putting her in the role of Mommy. Or if it’s a trick to get a booty-call.
  3. Put your 4-year-old daughter on the phone to say hi. Of course she’s the cutest thing ever and just learned that song that Grandma can’t get enough of every time you Skype! But have some boundaries, if not for the sake of your budding connection with your date, then for your child’s sake. Introducing children early on is never a good move.
  4. Do your spot-on impression of an Indian cabdriver with a poor sense of direction. Sigh. Yes, this happened, too. It doesn’t matter that you met on JDate and you know she’s not Indian. Don’t do schtick of any kind during this initial phone call. Making little jokes is fine. Risking offense by doing some impression you’ve been polishing up on your rides to work each morning is too big a gamble. You can be as funny as you want once you start getting to know her in person.
  5. Hang up without scheduling a date. Not always fatal, but with every day that goes by with no date scheduled, your chances of meeting plummet exponentially. GET THE DATE ON THE CALENDAR. NOW. It shows strength, intention and decisiveness on your part. Exception: If you try to schedule but she hedges and says she doesn’t know when she will be free, it may be her way of signaling lack of interest now that you’ve chatted a little. You’ll be helping the both of you if you cede to her hedge and just say something like this: “Do you feel comfortable texting me some dates when you know when you’ll be free, or should I call you in a few days/a week and check in?” If she tells you she prefers to let you know, you may or may not hear from her. If you don’t hear, chalk it up as a loss and move on. If she texts you a date, call her and make the arrangements.

To learn how to avoid other potential phone fails, polish up your game and increase your odds of succeeding with women, call us! We are the Personal Trainers for your Love Life. Whether you need a few conversational pointers or a complete dating overhaul, we are here for you at (646) 659-1773. You can also email us using the contact box on this page.

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